tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post2689570027114255879..comments2023-09-11T09:19:38.384-05:00Comments on Sarah Ahiers Writes: In Which I Set A HookSarah Ahiershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-83798501731405158472010-03-03T09:09:35.377-06:002010-03-03T09:09:35.377-06:00Donna - i guess that would depend on the agent? Al...Donna - i guess that would depend on the agent? Also, i think an unexpected kiss from a stranger is an awesome inciting incident. I'm a bit in awe and a tad jealous...Sarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-63054193446260474232010-03-02T20:41:39.324-06:002010-03-02T20:41:39.324-06:00My inciting incident is an unexpected kiss from a ...My inciting incident is an unexpected kiss from a stranger, which also introduces another MC. Comes about the third page. <br /><br />I'm totally bad at beginnings. I've re-written the first chapter - and especially the first three paragraphs - so often I'd like to just put a note where chapter one begins that says "this chapter deleted by popular approval", and move on.<br /><br />How well do ya think that would go over with the agent?<br /><br />.......dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-50029728067335722562010-03-02T17:29:43.592-06:002010-03-02T17:29:43.592-06:00Roni - thanks. And of course, it's so importan...Roni - thanks. And of course, it's so important, so there's even more pressureSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-82925105297596796852010-03-02T17:27:51.629-06:002010-03-02T17:27:51.629-06:00Good luck on finding that sweet spot to start with...Good luck on finding that sweet spot to start with. That is always such a challenge--where to begin.Roni Lorenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02719679344024635326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-11515924513937929562010-03-02T17:16:34.931-06:002010-03-02T17:16:34.931-06:00Barbara - what is it about monkeys that just draws...Barbara - what is it about monkeys that just draws attention?<br /><br />Tara - thanks! I'll pop on over right nowSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-2365738013190795162010-03-02T16:26:57.055-06:002010-03-02T16:26:57.055-06:00Monkeys? I'm in!
I'm killing myself tryin...Monkeys? I'm in!<br /><br />I'm killing myself trying to get my first chapter rght. Urk.<br /><br />There's something over at my place fr you :)Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-65685491272147085892010-03-02T13:18:38.355-06:002010-03-02T13:18:38.355-06:00I would also keep reading about the monkey attack....I would also keep reading about the monkey attack. I think you've got your new beginning all sewn up right there!Barbara Ann Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01751427987081847906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-73795529097578570782010-03-02T13:18:08.441-06:002010-03-02T13:18:08.441-06:00Teebore - yeah just let me know when you're re...Teebore - yeah just let me know when you're ready for me to take a stab at it<br /><br />Alex - yeah i'm totes jealous that your book has a prologueSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-82403894153136042502010-03-02T13:02:44.746-06:002010-03-02T13:02:44.746-06:00Mine has a prologue, but there's a couple plac...Mine has a prologue, but there's a couple places in the first chapter where I could start. Would be awkward, though. One happens two pages in, so that might be okay. Of course, I guess that pretty much DOES start the chapter!<br /><br />Good luck with yours!Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-89389664146663072542010-03-02T12:06:58.766-06:002010-03-02T12:06:58.766-06:00knowing there's a problem is half the battle
...<i>knowing there's a problem is half the battle</i><br /><br />And the other half is shootin' stuff! <br /><br />Yeah, we should discuss that again at some point. Especially now that I'm breaking the first part out to stand on it's own. It could use some, shall we say, structural appraisal. <br /><br />I'm also thinking, thanks to this post, of chucking the first couple pages; you know, they're riding along, get out, comes across enemy soldiers, fight. Screw that, I'm thinking, let's just start with the fighting and catch everyone up from there. <br /><br />I need to re-read it with that in mind and make sure it works, but I think it will, and will make the opening stronger for it, so thanks!Austin Gortonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14281239771248780430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-69298652280200763462010-03-02T11:32:29.847-06:002010-03-02T11:32:29.847-06:00Nicole - indeed. I'm ok with slow openings, bu...Nicole - indeed. I'm ok with slow openings, but there better be some sort of hook within a few pages or i'll be peeved. First sentence is the best if you can pull it off<br /><br />Tina - LOL well rules are made for breaking. Yes i agree, Hook as soon as possible, Inciting incident can follow a bit after that<br /><br />Anne and Palindrome - come now, there's plenty of me to go around (Mwahahaha)<br /><br />Kay - thanks. And yeah, that can indeed be a problem.Sarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-26703985745068508062010-03-02T11:30:06.898-06:002010-03-02T11:30:06.898-06:00Teebore - keeping in mind that it's been quite...Teebore - keeping in mind that it's been quite a few years since i've read all of Fate Lost, i actually don't think that Malcom's big choice (or how he changes) is whether or not he buys into the superhero stuff. I think that's a book long surface problem, but i don't think it's the problem that defines him as a character. For example, when he does accept his role, (and i'm speaking strictly about the first book here) it seems to me (from what i can remember) that he doesn't change as a man or a person because of that revelation, but because of others.<br />Eh, we'll have to discuss laterSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-58597452031445427492010-03-02T11:29:57.985-06:002010-03-02T11:29:57.985-06:00Southpaw - indeed. those surface problems just kee...Southpaw - indeed. those surface problems just keep popping up until the end<br /><br />Sonshine - yeah that's a bit of an issue i'm going to face once i tackle the beginning of Foxfire. Ah well, knowing there's a problem is half the battleSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-88512850436008388332010-03-02T11:29:06.344-06:002010-03-02T11:29:06.344-06:00Like your hat. Hope it helps you revise the nits ...Like your hat. Hope it helps you revise the nits and the problems. <br /><br />As for prologues, I'm finding I'm not reading books where they seem superfluous and unconnected.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14115085533635353291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-30570601788973020862010-03-02T11:06:53.505-06:002010-03-02T11:06:53.505-06:00@Anne- oh sure, sure. I completely believe you.@Anne- oh sure, sure. I completely believe you.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16915603693944523761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-85766965308007616132010-03-02T10:44:50.378-06:002010-03-02T10:44:50.378-06:00I'll have you know, Palindrome, that i read he...I'll have you know, Palindrome, that i read her post waaay before you commented- i just had nothing to sayAnne Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04695186823472404436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-83358166097209375172010-03-02T10:38:48.457-06:002010-03-02T10:38:48.457-06:00Inciting incidents are tricky little blighters. It...Inciting incidents are tricky little blighters. It's difficult to decide exactly where it should be. I would say definitely in the first five pages or so. Of course, I think mine is on page six or seven, so I've broken my own rules. Oops.Tina Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05914428134837892539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-53842411828083882502010-03-02T10:26:22.199-06:002010-03-02T10:26:22.199-06:00I like my hook in one of my WIPs. The whole chapte...I like my hook in one of my WIPs. The whole chapter sets up one of the main subplots of the story and gets in a bunch of action, plus shows the MMC's character quite strongly.<br /><br />My other is definitely a character-based story. I don't want to do one of those "the day my aunt Julie died would change my life forever" kinds of things, so I'm still trying to figure out what would be the right hook. (Hehe...right hook...)Summer Freyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234534550255682010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-54603564585868431702010-03-02T10:11:04.862-06:002010-03-02T10:11:04.862-06:00Great post! An opening line will hook a reader mo...Great post! An opening line will hook a reader more surely if the sentence describes action. I don't know about you, but when an opening line talks about the setting, or describes what the character looks like as she sits quietly on a bench, it does nothing for me. You have to come at the reader with action if you want them to read on.<br /><br />Hey, congrats on winning Kristin's contest!!! Too cool!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01899768909313326172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-16166674350383409512010-03-02T09:31:48.549-06:002010-03-02T09:31:48.549-06:00Hmm...I'm not sure.
In my NaNo book, the inc...Hmm...I'm not sure. <br /><br />In my NaNo book, the inciting incident (does Tommy become a criminal?) is setup in the first chapter, but probably not the first page. <br /><br />In "Fate Lost" the inciting incident is WAY later. I like to think the opening has a strong hook (bombs are going off! Soliders are fighting!) but the main plot doesn't really get introduced until the second chapter, and Malcolm isn't presented with his big choice (does he buy into this super power crap?) until the third.Austin Gortonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14281239771248780430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-39094388869551321102010-03-02T08:55:05.041-06:002010-03-02T08:55:05.041-06:00In my historical WIP there is definitely not an ea...In my historical WIP there is definitely not an early enough inciting incident. This is why the rough draft is gathering moss in my computer files. I can't figure out how to move later into the story without losing important stuff. grrr...Rebecca T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11994380364321336824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-24689706467262830392010-03-02T08:28:37.681-06:002010-03-02T08:28:37.681-06:00You are so write about the hook. A novels really i...You are so write about the hook. A novels really is just a bunch of hooks all strung together.Southpawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539290964546504171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-67767551705116635352010-03-02T08:25:15.467-06:002010-03-02T08:25:15.467-06:00Wha? CRAAAZY!Wha? CRAAAZY!Sarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-24067008012635226462010-03-02T07:55:18.776-06:002010-03-02T07:55:18.776-06:00Monkeys it is!! Oh and I totally requested the boo...Monkeys it is!! Oh and I totally requested the book you're reading at the library and it just came in!! We're going to be reading the same book. Like, OMG!!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16915603693944523761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439499929311889062.post-71460308836754139712010-03-02T07:51:55.952-06:002010-03-02T07:51:55.952-06:00Palindrome - it's funny you should mention tha...Palindrome - it's funny you should mention that because i'm trying to write a 250 word story and was thinking of propmts and monkeys came up in my head more than onceSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.com