In Which I Set A Hook

So since I have to cut my prologue in Foxfire, that means I have to start my story elsewhere.
And though it seems like it should be an easy decision (just remove the prologue and start at chapter one) it really isn't.

One of the most important things you can do to give your novel a starting chance, is to give it a great opening. After all, when an agent is looking at your manuscript you want him/her to get as far into your story as possible. You don't want them to read the first paragraph or page and then set it aside.

So a strong opening will strengthen your chances.

The best way to craft a strong opening is to start with a hook, and an inciting incident. The hook is something that catches your reader's eye. Something like "Fred thought things were going great until the monkeys attacked," or whatever. I'd keep reading after that, because, I mean, monkey attack!

The inciting incident is the moment where your character starts on the path to change. What is it that happens to your MC (or, better yet as we discussed in my posts about passivity, what is it your MC does) that starts that change?

Hopefully this will also set in motion a surface problem. A surface problem is just what it sounds like, a problem on the surface of the story. Typically these are solved but then another one arises, etc.

So for Foxfire I'm struggling a bit with wondering how I want to handle my inciting incident. There's two places I could start it and I originally thought it would be when Fox has an accident and injures himself. I still think this would be a great place to jump into the story. But the issue I have with that is that I would lose a big big chunk of Fox's story before that and I would like to build him up a bit before I stick him with the first disaster.

So it's looking more and more likely that the inciting incident will have to go earlier (coincidentally, in a chapter one scene) and I'll have to rewrite that chapter to start with the hook and bring about the inciting incident.

I'm really excited to dig into this part of my revision. It seems to me it will be like playing with clay, and I get to smash it all around before the clay comes out looking like a horse head (that's pretty much the extent of my ability to shape clay...)

So what's your inciting incident? And does it happen early enough in your story?

In Which Characters Are Dragged Through Hell

So yesterday we discussed passive characters and fixing disasters that are (hopefully) brought about by the MCs trying to fix things.

Another trick you can use to force your characters to remain active instead of passive is to put them through hell.

And now I will use an example from my favorite of all favorite shows...

MAKE IT OR BREAK IT!

That's right! And you forgot all about it...

So if you remember from last time I discussed the awesomeness that is the show (BTW, I'm now making Twin watch it with me. Converting the unsuspecting, one person at a time...) Payson broke her back in the season finale last season and her doctors said she wouldn't ever do gymnastics again. Which sucks for her because she was a favorite for the 2012 Olympics.

So Payson tries to pretend it doesn't bother her, but of course it does and she alienates her friends and family and breaks all her trophies and refuses to even go to The Rock to visit the other gymnasts or consider being a gymnastics coach.

So things are crappy for Payson.

Then, her pseudo boyfriend tells her about this back surgeon in LA who is the best in the world. So even though Payson and her parents decided she wouldn't see any more doctors, Payson gets her hopes up about this doctor and convinces her mom to allow her to get a consult.

The new super doctor tells her that he agrees with her original prognosis. No more gymnastics.

So Payson is broken hearted again.

Payson then has to go to public school, because there's no point to being home schooled anymore. She hangs out with a bit of a bad crowd and gets in trouble based purely on association, but this helps her realize that she can't spend her whole life thinking about how she can no longer be a gymnast. She has to move on, and find something else she'll love just as much.

So things are looking up for Payson, she's making new friends, joining clubs at school, gets to go to Prom and doesn't even have to wear her back brace at the dance.



And then, a doctor from Europe calls Payson's father and advises them that she believes she can perform an experimental surgery which will allow Payson to compete in gymnastics again.

Payson is excited about the chance, but she catches her parents fighting over the idea and because she doesn't want to be the source of their arguments or their fear she tells them she doesn't want the surgery.

If we look over all of these scenes (which of course have happened over the span of 8 or so episodes) we can see that every and any time Payson starts to feel good, or happy or things start to "come up Milhouse" for her, things then go to crap.

If you continue to throw horrible things at your characters, drag them through hell, then it's difficult for them to remain passive.

But you want to be careful that you allow the characters to make a mess of things as much as possible. Yes, the doctor calling from Europe is a bit of Deus Ex Machina (I LOVE saying that), BUT it's going to come down to Payson deciding if she wants to take the risk of surgery (a surgery that could possibly leave her paralyzed) in order to get another chance at her lifelong dream.

If your characters try and fix the bad things that happen to them, make their solutions cause even more problems (for example, Payson's big let down at the LA surgeon's is due purely because she fully believed she would be fixed and convinced her mom to bring her to LA for the consult. She caused herself that moment of heartbreak).

So, in recap, ways to avoid passivity = bad things happen to MC, MC tries to fix bad thing, which makes things worse, which MC tries to fix, which makes things worse, etc, until we reach the end and (hopefully) a point of change for the character.

You want to be careful that you have moments of breathing space for your readers, give a little taste of good things before the next disaster happens. This will allow your reader to take a breath and will also make the next disaster even weightier if things were going OK for a bit.

Again these are all things I try to keep in mind as I'm drafting, but truthfully I'll have to go back in during revisions to heighten the drama in each scene.

Does anyone else follow the "drag your MC through hell" approach to prevent them from remaining passive?

In Which I Fight Passivity

Let's talk about passive characters.

They stink.

I mean, they can have their place in a piece, but it's hopefully not in a main character role.

My previous WIP, the stalled one, has a passive MC, which is one of the main issues I have with it (well that and I've got too many main characters and little to no character motivation or conflict. Hence why I am no longer a pantser...)

When I'm outlining a piece (which is not so much an outline as it is a list of MCs their conflicts and motivations and then maybe a list of scenes) I try to think of the story arc as 3 disasters and an ending. It's OK if the first disaster comes around due to an environmental issue or something else, but the story and the characters will carry more strength if the following disasters are caused by the MC trying to fix things.

This is something I struggle with, the passive character bit. I like to have things happen to people and typically when I write a story arc, that's what I start with. And then I have to go back and think of ways the MCs can mess things up instead of just waiting around for things to happen.

Boring.

(On a side note, I was looking for a picture regarding passive characters, and at least 25% of the pictures that came up were of Bella Swan.)

Hopefully the passivity is something I can catch before I finish, or better yet even start, the first draft. But if it's not, as long as I'm aware that it's an issue of mine, I can search for passive character moments and scenes and even story arcs during revisions.

Tomorrow, more discussion about characters and ways to interrupt passivity.

So does anyone else struggle with passive characters?