In Which I TypeRace

I'm sure I've mentioned before that I'm pretty competitive when it comes to... well, a lot of things. It's probably why I like gaming and board games and disc golf and racquetball and all that junk. Can I win at something? Then I want to win at it.

Another thing I'm sure I've established is that I like to write.

So what were to happen if we combined the two??

I would explode in excitement over TypeRacer!!!

TypeRacer allows you to race other competitors with your typing speed. If you sign up (and it's free) it will keep track of your avg WPM and how many races you've run, etc.

The tricky thing, though, is to nail that punctuation and not make any typos. Because you have to fix anything you don't type correctly, which slows down your WPM (news flash, typos are Achilles heel, apparently, in TypeRacing.)

You can also practice if you don't wan to actually race other peeps. I also wonder if I play around enough with this, if I'll become a faster and more efficient typer? I suspect so. I don't necessarily feel like I need to type all that much faster. I'm happy with my speed and can pump out a couple K in an hour. But if I could do that and have less spell checking to do because I have less typos? Well, that would be just fine. Just fine.

Give it a try! You don't have to register if you don't want to, you can still race and practice as a guest.

In Which I Get What I Ask For

So a few weeks ago, I totally won a full MS critique in the Write Dreams Auction. Which was awesome and I really really wanted it.

So I sent her my Break Free MS, which I am still plugging away it, revising and line editing and loving and revising and... well you get the idea.

I really needed a full MS critique to spot BIG ISSUE things. You know, plot holes, character arcs and development. I'm usually pretty good at spotting big issue things in other people's work, but there's no way in hell I can spot it in my own. The blinders are totally up once I finish that first draft.

So she got back to me after two weeks (super fast, right?) and her critique was EXACTLY what I wanted and needed. Some of the things I worried about, she loved and had no problem with. And some things I didn't even know had problems were problematic. Perfect. I was so happy she was able to spot things I couldn't.

So what happened?

I sank into a pit of despair.

Yep.

Fun.

This is figuratively me. Not literally, obviously. I don't wear denim baseball hats

Sometimes that happens to me, when I get a good/helpful critique. Even though I'm excited about it, I'm still disappointed that I have to make changes and am, you know, not perfect. Which obviously I'm not, but sometimes you have to trick yourself to feel extra good about your writing so you don't lose momentum. Or at least I do. Maybe that's just me.

It's just irritating. Because had I got a not helpful critique back, one that said something like "this is great! I loved it! Good job!" and that's it, I would've been flattered, but mostly irritated because I need constructive criticism, not just feel good happy times. Right? Right.

Anyway, I knew my bad mood would pass once I was able to fully absorb and accept the critique. And it did, about three days later. And now I'm back in the saddle, working even harder on the MS. Prepared to really make this one THE ONE. Yeah? Yeah.

What about you? Do critiques, even good, helpful, critiques, send you into the pit of despair?


(OT: OMG guys, I managed to write this whole post, without a single typo! It's some sort of miraculous record for me!)

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In Which I Share My Editor Critique

I'm back with my critique for Hole Ridden.



I had a good half a month between when I was notified of the editor's choice pick and when I received the crit so I had plenty of time to be impatient for it. I really wanted to send Hole Ridden out on submission asap so delays were a little prickly (good thing I had Foxfire revisions to keep me distracted). I also knew that once I got the crit I would most likely be upset for a day or two, which is typical for me. Be upset, wait 1-3 days, then address the issues.

BUT after I read this crit, I found I wasn't upset at all. I was excited and energized. I plan to finish up Hole Ridden this week, and then make a list of submission options. Then it will be all growed up and ready to branch out on its own.

Anyhoo, here's the crit. My thoughts will be pasted in red.

Here's another definition of the Editor's Choice Review, from OWW:

"If a submissions of yours is selected as an Editor's Choice, it's partly going to be used as a teaching tool for other members: the editors pick submissions that can be reviewed in such a way as to help both the writer and other workshoppers learn something about their craft. But rest assured: it's also a compliment"


THE CRIT

While it stands as a solid piece of short-story telling as it, the problem with "Hole Ridden" is that -- even at just barely 2600 words -- it's still too long. (this was a surprise to me. I had a few crits from readers who expressed that they wished it was longer. Since I don't really make things longer, I had dismissed these thoughts. But this was the first time someone actually came out and said, "make it shorter") Sarah tends to find moments upon which to linger in order to provide her central character, Janice, time to consider/judge/dismiss things so that the concept of this ever-opening maw of Earth will be accepted by the reader. For the most part it works, but there are a couple of instances where Janice's hesitation in the face of a singularly terrifying truth see, either, a) put there in order to draw out the suspense a little more, or, b) make Janice seem naïve (and borderline stupid). (this is something that I've struggled with throughout the drafts so it doesn't surprise me that he caught a few instances where it's not quite there yet)

A secondary problem lies in Sarah's narrative voice. For easily 80-90% of this story that voice is in complete control, which is one of the main reasons that the tale zooms along, barely stopping to catch its breath. The pacing is excellent, but because the story remains about 300-600 words too long, it could be even better.

Okay, specifics: The story opens with this exchange between Janice and Arthur:

"Are you sure that thing will be able to move a rock that size?" Janice gestured with doubt (already established with the gesture, so repeating it here is redundant) ) to Arthur's tractor. (I can't believe I missed this redundant tag. Gestured with doubt is just another way of saying gestured doubtfully. Smooth Sarah)

Then, in the middle of sentence (he must mean paragraph here...) which was until now solely from Janice's POV, you wrote:

Arthur wrapped a chain around the boulder and paused to look at his machine. He glanced at Janice, nodded and returned to the chain.

Which means that the next line of dialogue below if from Arthur, yet his actions remains attached to those of the last speaker, Janice.

"Yep, it'll hold it all right." Arthur rubbed dusty hands against his overalls and straightened his back. "Now you sure you want me to move it? God doesn't put something like this here for no reason."

Action always remains with the speaker; always. Everything after "Arthur's tractor" in the opening exchange needs to be separate from Janice's opening line an initial gesture.

(I was a little irritated at first by this part of the crit. When you upload work to the OWW system, it doesn't convert easily from Word so you have to go in and add a hard return between each paragraph. This was just a spot where I missed adding the hard return. A typo, more or less. But then I remembered that the crit is also supposed to help everyone else too, and I'm sure there are writer's out there who need help with this area.)

Shortly after this, as Arthur readies to removes the rock, you have a lovely observation from Janice that goes like this:

Janice nodded and retreated a few feet. Poor man had probably never even had champagne, though he seemed confident in his ability to remove rocks.

It's a sweet moment for a couple of reasons; this is the first - and I believe only - time in the story Janice spares a sympathetic thought for anyone but herself, and she's so jaded she doesn't even realize how outrageously condescending it is.

(This comment I enjoyed because the above line is one that I got mixed feedback on. I was glad to see that he liked it and understood the reason I had put it in)

That leads me to the next problem. You skirt far too close to the line of caricature with Arthur and Janice; she being the hard-bitten, cynical, judgmental, impatient, take-no-prisoners type who would have been played by Jane Fonda; Arthur, the almost too-laid-back neighbor and jack of all traits with so much homey wisdom and advice he's just waiting to share. You don't cross this line, but it comes close. (This is something I know the story has issues with. I've been slowly trying to fix it, but it's been difficult since many of my solutions seem to be related to another cliche) But there's an easy fix - and you're not going to like it. (when I read this, I got really worried. What wasn't I going to like? And why? Would I have to lose a character? Rewrite the whole story (I soooo don't do rewrites))

Move Arthur's story about "stopping a hole with a hole" into this scene, along with the few other pertinent bits of information that are exchanged out by the pickett fence Arthur is repairing. This confrontation scene simply doesn't work; it seems forced, it reads forced, and seems to serve no other purpose than provide someplace for Arthur's "a bigger hole to stop a hole" theory. There is no sense of culture clash, no reason for Janice to so vehemently accuse Arthur (even she knows that she didn't hear the tractor start up), so there is no point to this nasty little confrontation they have here.

Cut it. Take what necessary information you need from the scene and scatter throughout the opening sequence.

(After I read this part I was like, "That's it? That's what I'm not going to like?" Clearly Gary doesn't know me at all. Because cutting a whole scene (in a story that only has 3 or so) and moving the important info elsewhere, is not an issue for me. Not at all. I'm actually looking forward to playing around with it. So, huge sigh of relief when his major suggestion was something that I actually enjoy doing with revisions. Also I think he's completely right. I always knew that scene was the weakest. It actually used to be much much worse...)

Last point; your final line:

"If it came down to that, she knew exactly where to put the final one."

This is almost exactly the same thing you did in the story's opening line, only here, instead of voicing doubt while making a gesture of doubt, you have Janice look at her gun, make the connection ... and then tell us what that connection is, just in case someone doesn't get it.

Please cut the final line and use "...Maybe the only way to atop a hole was with another hole." As the final one. It'll be less obvious and much more chilling as a result.

(This one hurt a little. Not because he isn't right (because he so so is and I'm a little sad that I didn't realize how blatant it is) but because I always liked the final line. This will be a "kill the darlings" sort of revision for me, but I think the story will be much stronger if I follow his suggestion.)

In case I forgot to mention it, the entire central conceit of the story is exceptionally clever and compelling, and when the earth starts falling into itself as Janice makes good her escape, I was on the edge of my seat.

(Yay!)

What you have here is an excellent story. I think it can be made even better with some judicious pruning and re-arranging of smaller moments within scenes.

--Gary A. Braunbeck


So there you have it! After reading the crit I was super relieved that he didn't tell me to rewrite, eliminate a character etc, all things I probably wouldn't have done, even to make the story better.
His suggestions were right on the mark and he hit all the spots I knew were the weakest.

I was also excited to see the the Editor's choice for Sci-Fi was a member who had exchanged crits with me, he on Hole Ridden and I on his sci-fi novel chapter one. It was kind of like knowing someone else who had been chosen. Like when you see a friend or family member on TV. (I KNOW them! you think...)

Anyone else get some exciting news lately?

In Which I Received (3) Critiques

I know I mentioned a few days (weeks?) ago that I won Chimera Critique's first contest. The prize was a gift card (which I spent on Karin Lowachee's Gaslight Dogs and World War Z and promptly added them to my TBR pile (Karin Lowachee goes to the top though. OOH I hope it's half as good as War Child)). The secondary prize was a first chapter critique, which was awesome.



I did a quick line edit (super quick, just looked for passive voice, typos (of which there were many) easy to fix adverbs and adjectives etc)(also Palindrome and Teebore took a quick look as well) and then sent if off.

Then I hit my funk (which has now mostly cleared, which is good). They said it would take about two weeks but I got the first (of three) crits back in less than a week. How awesome is that?
I peeked at it and then promptly stashed it away.

Note to self: do not look at crits while in a foul mood. It will not help.

I knew I needed to sit on it to try and get some emotional distance. I planned on giving it 4-5 days but instead (after I had written my post about my funk) I decided to suck up and brave it.

As it turns out, reading the firs crit cured my funk immediately. I wish I had known that. I felt a little silly the next day reading about my funk when it had more or less gone away.

The crit contained a line edit (which looked terrible because as I've mentioned in the past I need around 3-4 line edits so 1 didn't cut it) But what was even better than the line edits (which were very helpful, don't get me wrong. They caught a few things I most likely wouldn't have noticed on my own) were the overall feedback paragraphs. What they liked, what they thought needed work.

They clarified a few things that I had questioned myself. For example, everyone loves MC Quill (I do too. She was really fun to write) but people don't love MC Fox as much, which is the pits because he's like THE MC. But I had already suspected that Fox needed some work and had come to a few conclusions how to zazz him up.

Also they helped clarify where they thought the hook was (it was where I suspected) and therefore helped me come to terms with a better way to start off.

Overall I was very very pleased with the crit.

If you're looking for a crit yourself, you should give them a try.

So now I feel like I'm back on track with the revisions. Let's hope I stay there.

In Which I Feel A Word Is Spelled Incorrectly

You know what word I always want to spell incorrectly?

Into.

I want to spell it as "in to" - two words. Well not always, but often. I strongly disagree with it being one word. Strongly.

It just doesn't make any sense to me. For example, I'll make up a fake sentence.

"She shoved the head into the box"

Because I feel this sentence could also be written "She shoved the head in the box" (though this way it has a different meaning) I feel that "into" should be two words.

Is this weird? Am I the only one that has this issue with "into"?

I also occasionally have problems with "awhile", though that has more to do with the fact that I saw it once as a while, and I'm pretty sure that was a typo, but now I'm always confused about it.

Does anyone else have a word or words that you feel should be spelled differently?

(Sorry for the short post today, I was out all day on Sunday and forgot to write a blog post. I suspect the rest of the ones this week should be of a normal length).

In Which I Interrupt My Revision

Well lookee lookee. It's Monday again. How great. I need like 6 months off from work. I think I'd probably spend the first half of that just trying to catch up on sleep.

I took a short break with my revision schedule this weekend. I'm still not quite done with reading through each scene and writing down larger aspects that need to be added/removed etc. But I put that aside to begin some line edits of chapter one.

I want to clean it up a bit before I submit it to Chimera Critiques so I don't look like a huge hack who can't type properly (soooo many typos...)

Also I have my writing group tonight (wOOt!) and they'll be looking at the first ten pages of chapter one as well. So I wanted to be a bit ahead of the game so I can just correct anything they find and then hopefully submit my chapter for my free critique (EXCITEMENT!)

While I was line editing I was wondering how many line edits everyone else does?
I do 2 or 3 line edits of a whole piece. I'll do one kind of early on (but not too early, I don't want to line edit a chunk that's just going to end up cut). Then I'll do one once most all of the other revisions are done. And then I do one last final one, where I read the story backwards so I can really just concentrate on each sentence alone.

How many line edits does everyone else do? It used to be that line edits were the only thing that I did to revise, just read over the story line by line, over and over again until I either thought it was done, or figured that I had had enough. But this time I'm trying something different.

How about you?

I hope everyone has a nice week!

In Which I Go Shopping For Technology

So I finally got my tax money which is awesome. Since Twin and I bought our house, the tax breaks have been much better.

This year I decided that I should buy a new laptop. I haven't had a brand new computer in over 10 years and my current laptop was refurbished when I bought it around 7-8 years ago.

Old laptop perks:





Stylish NaNoWriMo sticker
Familiarity = ease of use-ability
Keyboard molded to my fingers = less typos
All my music stored


New Laptop perks:





Speakers that work
Mouse that works
Shiny and new
Full keyboard so I can use the number pad
Wide screen monitor so I can easily update blogger layout
HDMI output so we can hook it up to the TV and watch the laptop stuff on our awesome TV
Nice video card = Sims and other PC game compatibility


Sunday evening we started up Sims and made a new family. It was fun because while one of us played, the rest could watch on the TV.

Ah Sims. Will we ever break free from your clutches?




All signs point to No...

In Which My Typo Is Hilarious

So I finished reading Foxfire.

It was weird; the parts that I thought were very weak, weren't as bad as I originally had thought, which is aways a pleasant surprise. Either that or I have an underservedly high opinion of my writing... I guess time will tell. And my crit group.

The pacing in the beginning seemed much much quicker than I had intended. I don't know if that's bad or not yet. I do think I'll be throwing in some scenes from some of the minor character's POVs (the ones that already have scenes and that I want to build up some more) so I'm sure that will help slow the pace.

I also came to the realization that it has a Part One and a Part Two.

I kind of hate that.

Mostly because I'm not a big fan of "parts" when I read books, but mine clearly has two. I think if I do decide to make them separate with a part distinction, it will help the pacing a bit in the beginning. I don't know, we'll see how it goes.

Also when I had finished writing it, I really thought the ending sucked big time. I thought it was much too passive and had too much of a touch of Deus Ex Machina (Tee Hee! I need to get a pet and name it that, just so I have a reason to say it out loud all the time. A ratty maybe...)
But when I reread the ending, I found it much more tense and action packed than I remembered. It still needs work (the Deus Ex Machina needs to go, or at least be trimmed so it's not as unbelievable) but I was much more pleased with it than I thought I would be.

The typos were horrendous. This is the only piece that I've ever written that I pretty much forbid myself to fiddle with as I went along. Normally I'm a "read the previous scene before I start the next part" type of gal. But not for this one.

Hence, the typos.



The best typo I found, and this may be the best typo I've ever made in all my years of sloppy typing, is the following:

What I meant to write:

She had striking long black hair

What I wrote (or what spell check cleaned up for me):

She had stinking long back hair.


Take it all in. Every word.

When I came across that (and Twin had highlighted it with a pen because she had obvs also found it hilarious) I laughed so long that I actually glossed over a few pages of reading because I kept thinking about the typo and kept laughing.

Ah good times.

Anyone else have a good typo they'd like to share?

PS: as of the writing of this post I'm at 92 followers (CRAZY!) once I hit 100 there will be a writing contest held with prompts and prizes!

Future Excitement!