Wednesday, May 4, 2011

In Which I Bring Bargains Back

(quick note: next week I will be unplugged. Twin and I have the week off from work, and we will be spending it outside, landscaping and gardening. Internet useage will be limited)

Do you remember when Deals with the Universe used to be stylish? Maybe like 1-2 years ago?

In case you don't, or it was before your blog community time, A Deal With the Universe is when you tell the universe "if you give me What I Want (typically a book deal, or something), then I will do This".

The "What I Want" and the "This" are tailored to each individual person.
Example, when Natalie Whipple got her agent, she died her hair (Purple, I think. If I recall correctly).


funny pictures-Hmm.  That is a most interesting proposal ... a cheezburger in exchange for using my evil powers to crush the rebels.  Throw in a belly rub and you have a deal.

I always thought the Deals looked like a lot of fun, so now that I'm at the query stage, I've decided to try to bring them back to popularity.

The only thing is, I need some ideas about what I will do, if the universe come through for me.

So I'm taking some suggestions.

If I ask the universe to help me out with something rhyming with "boffer of bepresentation" what should I offer in return?

I am taking any an all suggestions (though, keep in mind ideas that require me to embarrass myself in public may meet with less favor)

So give me your ideas! I'll announce the deal when I'm back after my unplugging next week.


How about you? Make any deals lately? Care to try and bring them back into vogue with me?

22 comments:

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Yes! Jen Daiker and I were JUST discussing this. We're gonna post our deals next eek. Great minds think alike.

I'm always for people doing some dancing on a vlog to celebrate. But that might be cuz I've been a dancer all my life and seeing others dance makes me happy. So, I vote DANCE VLOG (in some kind of crazy costume, of course.)

Joan Crawford said...

You should agree with the Universe that if you get what you want, you won't shave your left armpit for the next 7 months.

I suggest the left in particular as I have been growing out my right side for years and haven't received a single thing I've asked for.

Ew, I'm grossing my own self out now...

Anne said...

LOLS! Joan may have a winner there

I was gonna suggest dye hair black. OOH! or shave head (you work at home so it barely affects you)- it would be just in time for your author photo, natch :-)

nose piercing

Summer Frey said...

I think you should get another dog. :)

Misha said...

Interesting idea...

Let's think... giving up chocolate for a week?

Anne said...

@Summer- we need another dog like we need cancer. don't encourage us

Anne Gallagher said...

Natalie dyed her hair purple. Lisa and Laura had a pink stripe.

I think Yvie, Tula and George should get a blue stripe. (When I think of Glimpse I see the ocean, natch.)

And of course I don't mean real dye, just mash up a bunch of blueberries and run them down their back for effect.

Teebore said...

No, no, dogs you've got. You need to offer to get some kind of crazy animal, like a bird or a lizard or..I dunno, a llama.

Hart Johnson said...

Oh, I like this deal with the universe idea... I am HAPPY to help bring this back to popularity...

And you know how I roll... Offer of Representation = dancing naked under the full moon... if you MUST you can do it someplace secluded...

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

karen - AWESOME! I'm so super excited to hear them! And my dancing would not make you smile. Not at all. But it's on my short list

Joan - Hah! Though, i'm not actually all that hairy, so i don't think it would be as impressive as we'd like

Anne - eh, i have no desire for black hair. And shaved head would be too extreme. Though dreadlocks might be an option.
Nose piercing is definitely on the short list

Summer - Hah! That is so not an option. Also, we're at our city limit

Anne - yes. Apropos metaphor

Anne - hah! They'd just lick it off each other. Also i don't know how well a blue stripe would show up on George

Teebore - already have birds. And we had lizards growing up. Also, i would TOTALLY have llamas if i had the space

Hart - I would totally do that. Straight up. Though i couldn't promise video proof...

Matthew MacNish said...

Hmm. The only rhymes I'm coming up with involve coffers full of masturbation. I need to re-think this.

Matthew MacNish said...

Shit. I guess I read that wrong. It doesn't HAVE to rhyme, though it would be awesome if it did.

I was going to say you should jump through a hole cut in the ice in White Bear Lake, but you'll probably be getting good news soon, so that's not going to work either.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Crap! Can't think of anything. And I would never suggest anything to embarrass you, Sarah.

Anne said...

ooh, like the dreadlocks idea...
just in time for renn fest!

good use of the word apropos

Maria Zannini said...

Interesting. I'd say in order to prove your sincerity, a deal with the universe should deliver audacity, courage and whimsy.

I like the vlog idea, but rather than dancing, I think you should do a theme--like painting toenails.

Gather all your friends and family, paint their toenails in neon colors and video just the feet. Don't forget the dogs, hamsters, birds, and cats. (You get extra points for painting a cat's toenails.)

The more people you can talk into getting their toenails painted, the better your chances of getting your wish.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

Matthew - Hah! And yeah, the snow just melted, so i'm not willing to jump back to winter so soon

Alex - awww well thanks. And i'm OK with some levels of embarrasement

Anne - thanks! But we'll see. I think nose piercing might be at the top. And the dreadlocks might not be in time for rennfest, it would all depend on when, or if, the universe pulls through for me

Maria - we've painted Yvie's tonails before, but i think George might freak. As might cockatiel Hedwig, who tries to bite you just for looking at him funny

Anne said...

he'll bite you, he'll bite you, he'll bite bite bite you
he'll bite you if you're disrespecting him!

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

Anne - Ha! So true. He got pissed when i tried to give him some muffin. Ozzy ate it instead

Misha - shockingly, i probably only eat chocolate a few times a month

Kristin Rae said...

I really like that Natalie dyed her hair purple... that sounds really fun.

Let's see... since hair is on the brain now, my cousin just got one of these little feathery things clamped into her hair... it's almost like one of steven tyler's feather hair things, but smaller, more feminine and totally adorable! That's an idea for ya?

Okay, now I want to make a deal with the universe too!

Nate Wilson said...

I didn't make a deal with the universe, but I did make a deal with my wife to go to our boring birthing class instead of the competition where I could have been dubbed the greatest tall tale speaker in the tri-state area... and because of that, I get to remain living in this universe.

Ooh, you should promise the universe you'll wear what ever is behind door #2. C'mon, let's make a deal!

And hey, if you do get to be Scoffer of Depp Peasant Nation, I will totally come to see you scoff at all the lowly townfolk.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

Kristin - that is an idea, though i have no idea where i'd go to get that done


Nate - you, sir, are a rhyming master! Bravo! Bravo!

Holly Ruggiero said...

I'm not nearly creative enough to come up with something. At least not at this moment in time.

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