Wednesday, January 25, 2012

In Which I Write A Letter To Google Alerts

Dear Google Alerts,

Remember when, over a year ago, I set up an alert for my name? So that way if someone mentioned me on their blog, I wouldn't miss it and would be able to thank them?
Remember how you worked for, like, 2 weeks the you stopped?

No?

Because I do. And though I felt scorned and irritated at you (and at me, for my inability to get such a simple technology to work correctly) I let it go. Because mostly I'm laid back and so I could just shrug my shoulders and move on with my life.

But you know what? Moving on with my life becomes difficult when, after a year of not getting a single damn alert even though I had proof my name had been mentioned on friend's blogs, you suddenly start working again.

Kind of.

Not really.

So I'm writing you this letter to let you know, dear Google Alerts, that I don't EFFING NEED YOU to alert me every time I post a new blog post.


This may be shocking to you, since you are only a digital program, and not even a good one at that, but you don't need to tell me when I update my blog. I was there when it happened. I KNOW.

Please go back to ignoring my alert. OR, if you're feeling magnanimous, start working for real. But right now, this isn't working for me.

Sincerely,

Sarah

.

17 comments:

Stina Lindenblatt said...

No kidding! And what's worse, it usually tells me weeks after I wrote the post that I wrote it. And it's not even consistent. It doesn't even tell me most of the posts I wrote. And it NEVER tells me if someone else mentions my name. So much for alerts!!!!

Slamdunk said...

Another reason for me not to add this to my list of things to keep up with. Thanks for the info Sarah.

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

amen, sista!

mshatch said...

ditto what slamdunk said. Although I will add that when you're 95 you might like that feature (I suspect I will!), you know, in case you forgot. Of course, by the same token, one would hope google alerts works properly by that time :)

Maria Zannini said...

Yahoo has an alert thingy too. My hubby uses that one to keep track of me and he sends me links of other people talking about me.

I still have to wonder *why* he put my name on alert. LOL.

Teebore said...

Heh.

Now I'm glad I never bothered setting up alerts.

Matthew MacNish said...

95% of the alerts I get are my own blog posts, too. But the weird thing? They often show up like DAYS later. You would think an entity as smart as Google could get something this simple right, right?

Patti said...

I've given up on google alerts. Hopefully they fix it soon.

Anne Gallagher said...

I used to just use the tag on my Google Reader feed. Punch in my name, and wah-lah, anybody who talked about me was right there.

Of course I haven't done it in a long time, so I don't know if anyone has talked about me, but at least I once knew if they did.

Mary Aalgaard, Play off the Page said...

I'm laughing out loud, here. Good Grief. Technology. shaking my head.

Polenth said...

What makes it worse is Google blog search can find other posts. It just doesn't talk to alerts.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

That's funny. And you're right...google doesn't care. It's not like you aren't using their software for free anyway.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I get those as well, but it's never consistent. It only catches my own blog maybe once a week. And it doesn't catch all the times my books are mentioned.
We need to fire Google.

TL Conway said...

Clearly, this is NOT something I need to look into. If you ever find it working for you in the future though, let me know!

DL Hammons said...

What she said!!!!

Al said...

Sounds like the kind of tech you DON'T need!

Sarah Pearson said...

Google alert does that to me too. I've been meaning to undo it since, oh, about three minutes after it started.

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