Friday, February 10, 2012

Emotion Flash Fiction Blogfest

Finally! We've reached Day Three of the I'm Hearing Voices Blogfest.

Rules for the final day:

Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words.

Friday’s Prize

  • From Angela: A full manuscript critique.
  • From Cassie: A full manuscript critique.
Right? Yeah, pretty awesome.

So, without further ado, here's my flash fiction piece!

She felt no fear.

The beginning held only resignation. Lita had been expectant. Hell, she’d smoked her first cigarette at twelve.

“As you can see…” The doctor’s bald head reflected the light. He smelled of antiseptic. “This is the healthy lung tissue. And these shadows…” He gestured to the xray with a flat palm. His wedding ring flashed in the light. “Is the cancer.” 

“Not long then?”  She’d always been blunt.

“I’m sorry Ms. Mercer.”

She walked up the driveway. Her life hadn’t been long enough. She’d miss stupid things like sushi and singing over the radio. Where was her happiness? She had no flashing ring on her finger.

Everyone had to feel this way - hardwired survival instinct. It wasn’t fair, to never be satisfied, to always be left wanting.

Inside the house, silence and darkness greeted her. A neighbor had been looking after her dog TJ. She’d have to make permanent arrangements, now. It’d be easy, he was a good dog.

She sank into the couch.

“I’m going to die,” she announced to her drapes, her silent TV. They didn’t answer. Not that she’d expected the darkness to evaporate.

She reached for her cigarettes and lighter. Her hands shook. She pictured the x-ray and the cancer covering her body like a wraith.

The lighter sparked and the fire obscured the dark.

Later, after the sirens left behind a charred ruin, she found she couldn’t quite express to the officer why she’d felt the need to erase the shadows.

There you have it!

And don't forget to sign up for the Teenage Heartthrob blogfest on March 5th! It's easy, and lets you post pics of fun celebrities from your childhood.


Kyra Lennon said...

Very well done!

Sarah Pearson said...

Oh, that last line was a killer!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Wow, she burned down her house!

Danielle B. said...

WOW is right. Wow! It's one of those scenes that's hard to put your feelings into words after reading it. Again - Wow!

Tasha Seegmiller said...

Very well done. I want to just give her a hug!

Southpaw said...

Very nice. I liked the ending quite a bit.

K. Turley (Clutzattack) said...

I was reading the second to last sentence thinking that was where you should have ended it. Then I read the line below and my eyes bugged out.

Really well done!

Madeleine Maddocks said...

That was so evocative. I loved the sentence: 'The lighter sparked and the fire obscured the dark'.

I wondered why she was talking to the silent drapes instead of her dog, though.

It left a chill yet had a satisfying ending. Purging those shadows.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Did she commit suicide by burning her house down and then became a ghost? Hmmm...or did she just torch her house? Either way, I felt hopelessness at first which was quickly replaced by anger from the protagonist who wanted to exert some control over her life.

Matthew MacNish said...

Oh shit.

Emily R. King said...

Intensely moving. It was a joy to read!

Cassie Mae said...

Wow! This was amazing. And I'm totally there with her with this news.

Still gawking and may need a minute to recoup from reading such an intense moment. :)

Angela Cothran said...

"Like a wraith" what a perfect description. Great job Sarah! So intense!

Ashley Nixon said...

The loneliness I felt was so awful! I felt so sorry for her Gosh!! Great job!

Sarah said...

Meep! Intense emotion buried under a mantle of numb detachment--I love it!

Cortney Pearson said...

Nice work! That's definitely some crashing news to take in.

Kelley said...

Loved this! What a great last line! :)

Creepy Query Girl said...

Oooh, I liked this! Very vivid. I'm sorry I only caught the end of this blogfest! Looking forward to your post for the origins blogfest!

Jess Stork said...

Wow, I loved this. It was very well written.

P.S. I love your steampunk editing hat!

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