Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love At First Sight Blogfest


So I'm participating in the Love At First Sight Blogfest, organized by the lovely Courtney Reese.

For those of you new to the idea, a blogfest is when someone comes up with a scene topic and anyone who wants to participate writes a scene (or takes one from an existing piece) and posts it on their blog for all the world to see.

This one is, clearly, about love at first sight scenes (appropriately for Valentine's Day). Or, if you don't have a love at first sight scene, it can also be when your characters realize they love each other.

I thought I had plenty of scenes like that in my writing. But it was hard to find one. Most of my short stories are not of the happy variety (about 90% of my shorts are horror-esque) and though Foxfire had a few, they were both lengthy and would require too much build up and backstory.

So I looked at my previous WIP (the one stalled at 70K).
This one had a few options so I went with one scene that looked pretty solid.
The only editing I did on it was spell check so this is how it looks in the unfinished first draft.
I tried to include as much conversation as required to make sense of the scene. I hope you can follow along...


****************
“When we got attacked by the wolves, back at the alley,” Joachim began, “you changed your form.”

She nodded but continued to watch the fire.

“Is that something you’ve always been able to do?”

“Yes. You did not notice when I changed before?” she asked.

“You looked like one of them,” Joachim said. “Like one of the wolves.”

“I don’t look like them. They look like me.” Cilka clarified. “And now I look like you.”

Joachim saw that Cilka had changed her appearance to once again look more human, her fur gone, her mane replaced by hair and her claws with fingernails. She had gone back to the woman he knew. The woman he loved.

As soon as the thought entered his head he found it to be true. When he had seen her fall into the river and not resurface he had felt such a moment of loss the closest association he had was when Jen had lost the baby, and then he had lost Jen. He had loved Jen. And now he loved Cilka.

“You told me that you loved Arenna,” he said to Cilka. “That you would have died for her, given the chance.” Joachim turned to face her. The firelight danced across her skin and created patterns and reflections of movement.

“Yes.” Cilka said.

“Is that why you spend so much time with me? Am I just her to you?”

She turned to face him. “You aren’t her. You can never be her. She was a unique creature that no human could ever encompass.”

“But you said-”

“I am a creature of the moment, Joachim.” She rested a hand on his leg. “You have to be when life just goes on and on. I tell you this so you can understand that when I say I house guilt over Arenna’s death, you can understand that, for me, to hold onto any emotion for such a length of time is an anomaly. That is how much I loved her. She changed my very nature. I am no longer what I was before I met her. My kin would not recognize me now and would see me as a broken creature, to feel as I do over a being that was destined, as all things are, to end, to die and return to dust and earth once more.

“When I first saw you, I knew immediately you carried Arenna’s blood. I see it in your skin, taste it on your breath. You can’t imagine what it is like, to have loved so greatly so long ago and to have just a glimpse, a reminder, of that love again. It hurts so much. And yet, I would experience it over and over again. Because you are all I have left of her.”

Joachim nodded. It was the longest speech he’d ever heard from Cilka and it was full of lovely and painful words.

“I understand,” he said and noticed how the black polish on his fingernails had chipped.

“Joachim.” She reached two fingers and lifted his chin so he could look into her eyes. “I already told you that two things cannot be one and that you are not Arenna. But even if you carried nothing of her in you, I would still love you as you are.”

She leaned forward and kissed him gently upon the lips. She tasted of good things, rosemary and mint and he was reminded again that she smelled like cedar and dry leaves in the fall.

He wondered if it was possible to love a monster.

**********************

So there you have it. I hope it wasn't too confusing and I think I accomplished what the blogfest was meant to do.

Now I'm off to read the other entries.

31 comments:

Elle Strauss said...

Thanks for sharing. I love this line.

"I don’t look like them. They look like me.” Cilka clarified. “And now I look like you.”

sarahjayne smythe said...

I like this alot. I really like the back and forth working out of what love is or might be between them.

And that last line just says it all. Just lovely. Thank you.

Joan Crawford said...

He wondered if it was possible to love a monster

After two children, I can safely say, yes, it is possible.

Falen said...

Elle - Thanks! And thanks for stopping by!

Sarahjayne - thanks. I always default to dialogue because i find it easy to write

Joan - aww, i've read about your kids, i bet they're only 50% monster, at most

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Don't think I'm ready for a love scene yet, but glad you forged ahead with the challenge.

Piedmont Writer said...

"I am a creature of the moment...you have to be when life just goes on and on."

I loved this Sarah. She sounds so sad, yet so in tune with her fate, her life.

Nice job, very well done indeed.

AchingHope said...

Awww... This scene was so sad, and yet sweet. Like eating chocolate fudge. It's sweet, but it's sad because you know it will make you fat.

Anne said...

@AchingHope:
LMFAO!

Denise said...

This is quite lovely. Her "brokenness" not belonging anywhere. Her loving mortal beings who will leave her behind after they pass on. Very melancholy, yet beautiful. I especially like the last line.

"He wondered if it was possible to love a monster"

Your Friendly Neighborhood Palindrome said...

I don't think I have a good love scene. I'm too dark and twisty. AND I just watched Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead...I'm just thinking about "Nut up or Shut up" and heading to the Winchester.

@AchingHope- You almost killed me right there. I choked on my spit laughing.

Roni @ FictionGroupie said...

Definitely felt the sadness of the scene mingled with the sweetness. Great job. :)

Laura Canon said...

Very nice! Love that it's from a man's POV.

Elaine 'still writing' Smith said...

You have captured a tone - a different voice - I can hear the ages past.
This marks a different kind of beginning for them both. They know what they are and what they are not to each other next they can see what they can become.
Elaine

Falen said...

Alex - sometimes you just gotta jump in. I remember the first sex scene i wrote was in a writing prompt with my writing group and to this day it's still one of my favorites.

Piedmont - thanks!

AchingHope - LMAO! ohhh this was one of the best comments i've ever gotten.

Denise - thanks! I guess i didn't really think about how my scene migth be a little melancholy for Valentine's day. Ah well...

Palindrome - yeah i'm pretty dark too, but i have my moments. You know how i like to throw in love to really raise the stakes a bit
also i love zombieland. "That'll do pig"

Roni - thanks!

Laura - i often write from a man's POV. I don't know why that is...

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

I really like the way her immortality infuses her definition of love. And those final lines about how she tastes and smells to him are gorgeous. Well done!

Donna Hole said...

"She leaned forward and kissed him gently upon the lips. She tasted of good things, rosemary and mint and he was reminded again that she smelled like cedar and dry leaves in the fall.

He wondered if it was possible to love a monster."

I think these two sentiments go together well. I also very much like the "creature of the moment" line. So much about this scene to love, I'd have to post the whole thing over again in the comments.

Thanks for sharing this. I'm not posting a scene myself, but I do think you captured the feeling meant by the blogfest. Well done.

.........dhole

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh my word...it's beautiful. It's fantasical, yes, but the emotion feels so human. My favorite:

"You can’t imagine what it is like, to have loved so greatly so long ago and to have just a glimpse, a reminder, of that love again."

So powerful. Well done, Sarah!

Falen said...

Tricia - thanks! i think i too often use what people taste and smell like so its something i have to watch

Donna - thanks for the compliments! it makes me excited to try and finish this WIP instead of letting it linger

Carolina - aww! You always say the nicest things! ((hugs))

Your Friendly Neighborhood Palindrome said...

Yes! Please finish!! I've been hanging on the edge of my seat, wondering how it's going to end for years...YEARS!!!

ThePreyers said...

Such a melancholy scene. I love the gentle unfolding of it. Very nicely done.
Thanks for sharing your words!

Merissa said...

...filled with lovely, painful words.
Just wonderful! Thanks for sharing with us.
Merissa

Tiffany Neal said...

I loved the line, "He wondered if it was possible to love a monster."

I love this whole blogfest greatness. So great to meet so many other writers! Sad thing is that I am going to be very tired tomorrow if I keep reading all of these...

Courtney Reese said...

Ooh, I'm intrigued! Very nice scene. Love that they are talking about loving someone that's gone, and loving someone new. It's beautiful!

Falen said...

Palindrome - ugh. don't remind me. BUT, you'll be happy to know that doing this blogfest kind of got me a bit excited for it again. A BIT

Preyers - thanks so much for stopping by an commenting!

Merissa - thanks! And thanks for following!

Tiffany - i tried to spread my reading out throughout the day. I found it much easier.

Courtney - thanks! And thanks for hosting the blogfest!

Simon C. Larter said...

I like the tastes and scents at the end. Well done engaging the other senses, good lady!

Tara said...

You've captured her essence beautifully in such a small space.

Just adored the last two paragraphs.

Falen said...

Simon - thanks! i seem to never forget the 5 senses in relation to people, but it's something i need to work on when describing other things

Tara - thanks! and thanks for stopping by!

Teebore said...

You're a damn tease. Come on, give us some new stuff from this WIP!

i seem to never forget the 5 senses in relation to people, but it's something i need to work on when describing other things

I'm in the same boat. I think when writing about people it's easier because they have five senses, whereas other things usually don't, so it's easier to forget about.

Amalia T. said...

Thanks for sharing this! I'm curious what else Cilka can shapeshift into-- or is she a werewolf? Thanks for sharing!

Falen said...

Teebore - i hear you clucking. i will i will, i promise.

Amalia - thanks for stopping by! she's not a werewolf and she can more or less shapeshift into any sort of mammalian form. huge changes take a lot longer (days)

Kerrin said...

sad yet touching! i don't think it's love at first sight or anything, but there is love there, you can feel it.
WEll done!

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