Insecure Writer's Support Group

I know I kind of say this every month, but I really mean it today: I cannot believe that we're already into March.

It still feels like March is a month away. What happened to February?

Anyway, it's the first Wednesday of the month which means it's time for IWSG

Today's co-hosts are Lauren Hennessy,Lisa Buie-Collard, Lidy, Christine Rains, and Mary Aalgaard!

Every month I sit here and ponder what it is I'm feeling insecure about. And, I mean, there are insecurities that come and go. But generally, I sit here and kind of shrug. There's not much there. Or at least not much I want to write about (because sometimes I'm feeling insecure, but I know it's dumb and for stupid reasons that have no basis in logic or reality. And on those days I don't want to write about them because it will just sound whiny and junk)

So yeah, which makes me realize that though I sometimes have insecurities, in general I am not an insecure writer.

And, yes, it helps that there has been validation. There's the agent. The book deal. All those things that many writers dream of.

But, honestly, even before that stuff, there wasn't a lot of insecurity. I've always had confidence in myself and writing. Maybe it's because I've had a lot of support over the years. Maybe it's because I had a bit of an ego about it (earned or unearned, who knows)(and, just realize, every time I wrote "because" in this blog post, I spelled it wrong)

Honestly, it's a nice place to be. I wish more people could be here, too.

Just believing in yourself and writing. Knowing that when you do feel insecure, recognizing that everyone does, sometimes, and that it will pass.


Also, today, I'm over at Crystal Collier's blog and there maaaaay be a chance to win a copy of ASSASSIN'S HEART if you want to check it out

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month, which means it's time for IWSG.

Today's co-hosts are Allison Gammons,Tamara Narayan, Eva E. Solar, Rachel Pattison, and Ann V. Friend! 

This is also the first day after ASSASSIN'S HEART is out in the world. I am officially a published novelist.

And, yeah. There's a TON of insecurity there. Most of it still needs unpacking of course. But I think I have the same worries as every other author in the world:

Will people like it?
Will it sell?
Will it find its audience?

I mean, I know it will find it's audience and someone will like it. There are already great reviews for it, both trade and just regular ol' peeps who got an early copy. And that's fantastic. So I guess that's less of a worry and more of a hope. That it finds the people who will like it or love it. I'm pretty sure teen Sarah would have been all over this book if she'd had it back in the day.

So, yeah. I mean, the rest of it, the other worries, are things out of my control. So right now, I'm trying not to let those worries tap me on the shoulder too much, if you know what I mean.

And, also, the work isn't done. There will be edits for Book 2. And I have a MG fantasy to finish drafting and another YA fantasy to start revising. So, there's not a lot of time for worries or insecurities. They'll keep, I'm sure.

Also, the ASSASSIN'S HEART blog tour continues through Friday!

Today there's a review on Dark Fairy Tales and tomorrow there's an interview with main character Lea on Storybook Slayers

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Well, it's the first Wednesday of the month which means it's time for IWSG.

co-hosts this month are L.G. Keltner, Denise Covey, Sheri Larsen, J.Q. Rose, Chemist Ken, and Michelle Wallace! 

It's also the first Wednesday of 2016. I don't know how that happened.

And, honestly, I have plenty of things to be insecure about.

In a week I'll be doing my grad reading and a few days after that I'll be actually graduating from my MFA program.

And a few weeks after that, ASSASSIN'S HEART will finally be out in the world. I'm sure some people won't like it (no one likes everything), but I know some people will like and some may even love it and that's great, because those are the people I wrote it for.

And with the book launch comes a launch party and all that jazz.

So, yeah, lots of things to be worried about.

But, honestly, I'm not feeling very worried or insecure right at the moment. I know that could easily change (it could change as soon as I'm done with this parenthetical)(it didn't)
but right now I'm feeling fine. Probably I'm just too busy to worry about anything right now.

The worries will come back, but I'm not about to go looking for them, if you know what I mean.

Happy 2016 everyone. Let's kick some butt.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Well, today is the last IWSG of 2016. Seems like the year just flew by.

It was a year of a lot of new things for me. I did edits on ASSASSIN'S HEART and copy edits. And first page passes. I got to see my cover for the first time, then hold my arcs. I got my first Goodreads reviews, and my first trade reviews.

And in 60 days the book will be out in the world, to do it's thing.

Which is extremely exciting.

But also scary.

Things move so slow in publishing, so even though you have an agent, or a book deal, etc, etc, it really doesn't feel like much has changed. Unless you quit your job to write full time or something. Which, yeah, is something I would love to do sometime in the future, but also, right now, I think I want to work my day job as long as I possibly can, for financial reasons alone. A twice monthly paycheck is something I'm not sure I'm ready to give up, yet. Even though multiple times a week I sit at my desk and just think about putting in my notice.

Sigh.

But, really, nothing much feels different. And I suspect the same will be said on February 2nd, the actual release date of ASSASSIN'S HEART. It will probably just be like any other day. And that's okay.

(though, really, I'm totally taking the day off from work. Probably get something good to eat for lunch, and then maybe hit a couple of bookstores to see my little book baby in the world.)

Anyway, I have work to do. Book 2 will need to be revised. And revised again. And in January, before any of this, I'll be graduating from my MFA. Something I'm both super excited and super sad about. 2 years went by too fast.

So, yeah. It's going to be a busy few months. But exciting. And I'm looking forward to it.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

It's the first Wednesday of the month which means it's time for IWSG

Co-hosts this week are  Julie Flanders, Murees Dupé, Dolorah at Book Lover, Christine Rains, and Heather Gardner

I can't even believe that we've reached September already. I feel like just yesterday it was June. This summer just sped past.

I'm feeling really good, right now. Which is good, because I was pretty stressed the last month or two. But I did a crap ton of revisions on my WIP and I think it came out a lot stronger.
It still needs work, of course, but at least now it has a leg to stand on.

Of course, I haven't even finished the draft. I was at 82k, but with the revisions it's now down to 64k (and I cut closer to 30k, I just was also adding new stuff, too) but I haven't reach The End yet. Which is what I'll be concentrating on this month.

September will have to be a crazy NaNo. But instead of doing 1600 words a day, I'm going to be aiming for 4k a day. Well, not every day, but weekdays, anyway. Once I finish this draft, my life will be so much easier. I'll be able to relax some, take it a little easier. Work on some other things I've had to put aside for now.

So I guess that means I'm not feeling that insecure right now. Of course that could change. I mean, I'm writing this post on Sunday, and by the time it posts on Wednesday any amount of crazy stuff could happen. But still. Right now I'm good. And the horizon is in sight.

How are things for you right now?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month, so you know what that means!
Time for IWSG

Co-hosts for this month are Nancy Gideon, Bob R Milne, Doreen McGettigan, Chrys Fey, Bish Denham, and Pat Garcia!

Oh insecurity. You're always popping up at stupid times. Like, who invited you insecurity? Not me, that's for sure.

But in all seriousness, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Well, no, that's not true. I'm a bit of a stressed out mess. But, I'm a point where I think I have a handle on things, and I don't particularly want to talk about what was stressing me out, for fear that the stress will take hold of the situation once more.

Which Sarah does. not. want.

So no details about my insecurities this month.

But the good thing about insecurity, at least for me and at least in regards to writing, is that it passes. I get my confidence back. Nothing lasts forever and I can fix anything.

How are your insecurities this month?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month (first day of the month, actual) which means it's time for IWSG.

Co-hosts this week are Charity Bradford, S.A. Larsen, AJ, Tamara Narayan, Allison Gammons, and Tanya Miranda!

I feel a bit like a broken record. I think my last 3-5 IWSG posts have been pretty much the same. I'm worried about time.

I think this is the busiest I've ever been in my life. I'm working on book 2, I'm preparing to go into my last semester for my MFA, and I have to give a presentation on my Critical Thesis in two weeks.

A lot of this stuff has and end date of course. But, of course, then more things will crop up. Like, in a few weeks, I'm done with the presentation, but after that I'll have to start working on my Creative Thesis, which is my MG fantasy. Which, of course, is great! I love it and I'm excited to work on it.
But I still need to finish the draft of book 2, and that obviously has to take priority.

Still, though, once we're into fall, things should hopefully slow down a bit.

But then, of course, come winter I'll have the BOOK LAUNCH (eee!) for ASSASSIN'S HEART.

So I guess that means it's time to put my head down and get back to work. The only way out, as usual, is through.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Here we are, the first Wednesday in June which means it's time for IWSG

Co-hosts for today's post are  M. Pax, Tracy Jo, Patricia Lynne, Rachna Chhabria, Feather Stone, and Randi Lee

I'm really excited for June. Well, maybe excited is the wrong word. June is the first month in a while where I'll be able to feel like I can breath again.

My semester is over, which means no more homework until July (except for my critical thesis presentation. I have to work on that and have it ready to go for my presentation in early July.) So because the semester is over, it means I don't have to work on more than one manuscript at a time. Which means I can completely focus on my sequel. Which also means I will be pulling out all the stops on it this month and pumping through it as hard and as fast as I can.

Finishing it is the goal. And by goal, I mean THIS IS A THING I MUST DO. Preferably finishing it as fast as possible so I can immediately jump into the revisions I know it desperately needs. The first 80 pages need to be pretty much rewritten. I mean, not from scratch, but my MC completely changed after that, as did a villain, as did her motivations and goals, so all existing scenes need to be changed to reflect those changes, though the bones of the scenes, I think, can stay.

So, yeah. I mean, maybe I should be worried about the amount of work I'm facing, and I am a bit worried, but mostly, it looks easier from where I'm standing since I've been facing this work for a few months now, it's just that before I also had schoolwork to accomplish as well.

Anyway, that's what's up with me. How about you?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month means it's IWSG.

Co-hosts for the April 1 posting of the IWSG will be Suzanne Furness, Tonja Drecker, Toi Thomas, Rachna Chhabria, Fundy Blue, and Donna Hole!
And because this is the first day of April, it means a ton of people are taking their first steps on the A to Z blogging challenge. Not me, though. I'm way too busy right now to deal with that. But good luck to everyone jumping in. The month will be over before you know it.

Things have been pretty much same 'ole same 'ole for me lately. Just tying to keep my head down and get as much writing and work done as possible.

It's been really hard trying to juggle writing two books at once, Book 2 for ASSASSIN'S HEART and my MG fantasy for school. I thought I'd be able to work on one in the morning, and one in the afternoon, but that only worked once.

The problem with switching between stories is, it gives me an opportunity to stop writing for the day, which I almost always take. And then throw in other work that needs to be done (revising my critical thesis, revising my picture book) and it's just too easy for me to say "well, I'll work on that story tomorrow because right now I'll revise stuff because that needs to be done too"

Things went a lot better for me when I hit my page goal for the MG fantasy and then was able to completely set it aside and work on Book 2 alone for a week.

So I don't quite know what the solution is yet. I'm hoping things will go better once the thesis is officially done, but I guess we'll see.

How about you? Ever write two novels at the same time, both with deadlines? Have any tips for me?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month means it's time for IWSG!


Co-hosts this month are: Chemist Ken, Suzanne Sapseed, and Shannon Lawrence

THIS IS WHERE THE BADGE IS SUPPOSED TO GO BUT BLOGGER IS BEING AN ASS AND NOT LETTING ME UPLOAD ANY PICTURES BECAUSE OF STUPID ASS BLOGGER REASONS.

ahem.

My insecurities this month are the same as pretty much any other month (second verse, same as the first!) Time.

I have so much to do not only for March, but also just this semester in general.

I need the revise my critical thesis for the MFA
I need to revise my picture book for the MFA
I need to start my MG fantasy for the MFA
I need to continue writing Book 2 for ASSASSIN'S HEART

That is a lot of work I need to get done. And I've never written a MG novel before, so that brings with it some unease.

But the solution, of course, is the same as it almost always is: just do the work.

The only way out is through, and all of that.


How's your March looking?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month means it's time for IWSG!

co-hosts for IWSG this month are Gwen Gardner, Dolorah, Sarah Foster, and M. Pax!

So yeah, as usual I'm feeling pretty good. I think the beginning of the month must generally be a pretty good time for me because I feel like a lot of these posts are me shrugging my shoulders saying "yeah. Things are good right now."

Which is not to say I don't have insecurities. I totally do. But things get resolved, or I address what's making me feel anxious and then let it go.

I'm mildly worried about writing my critical thesis for my MFA. My first draft is due to my advisor by the end of February. Which is plenty of time. But I'm in the middle of another round of edits, so that has to take priority. But those will be done in another week or so, so then it's back to the paper. And I know what I'm writing about and I have my primary sources. It's just getting it all together into something that makes sense which is just bluuurgh.

But, I know once I do it, the biggest hurdle is crossed. Get that draft out and then I can spend next month fixing it.

But then of course there are other hurdles. Writing book 2. Writing my MG fantasy. So, pretty much, a lot of writing. But, of course, that's the good kind of work.

How are things for you?

IWSG

January is just filled with firsts.

And here were are, at the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the first Insecure Writer's Support Group of 2015.

And things are going pretty good for me. Yes I have a lot of work to do on a lot of different things (book, sequel, edits, school and my Critical Thesis this semester) but the Holidays seem to have mostly rejuvenated me, like I hoped they would.

Later this week my MFA residency starts and I'm super excited for that, especially to see all my friends again.

So I guess this is kind of a throw-away post. I'm not feeling insecure, really, about anything at the moment. Though I'm sure that'll change at some point.

How are things going for you?

 

IWSG: This Time Last Year

This time last year, my life was already on a new course. I just didn't know it yet.

I had started querying my YA fantasy ALL THAT REMAINS on Halloween. I continued querying through November, and then I stopped in December.

And that would be it. That would be all the queries I would send.

I didn't know this of course. My plans were to start querying again mid-January, after my first MFA residency. But I never reached that point.

The agents who would later offer me representation already had the manuscript. Some of them were already reading it. And then reading it again. And maybe again (agents are awesome).

Later in December I would get 4 R&Rs. And a few weeks after that, I would get my first offer of rep. Then 6 more. I would sign with my lovely agent.

And 4 weeks after that I would have a book deal with HarperTeen. Everything would be different.

But back in the beginning of December, everything felt the same. I didn't yet know what was coming, the gears that were already turning to put my life on a new course.

So today, since it's Insecure Writer's Support Group, that's what I want to point out.

If you're still querying, trying to get an agent, sending out your book to big and small houses, hoping someone will pick it up, you could already be there.

Someone could be reading your query or your partial or your entire manuscript right now, and that could be it, the first moment that changes everything for you.

OR, maybe you're not even sending things out yet. Maybe you're drafting a book, or revising your  manuscript and it will be the exact thing an agent or editor will be looking for.

OR, maybe you self-publish, and you could be writing something, or getting ready to publish something that will be exactly what a brand new audience will be looking for.

The gears in your life could already be turning, too. Your life could already be changed, you may just not know it yet.





Today's IWSG co-hosts are:

Heather Gardner
T. Drecker
Eva E. Solar
Patsy Collins
 

Insecure Writer's Support Group

So, I totally missed last month's IWSG. I just completely didn't realize it was the first of the month or something.

My bad.

But here we are! The first IWSG for fall 2014. I cannot believe how fast the year is going.

As I mentioned on Monday, and a few weeks ago, I have been crazy busy. I knew going in that September was going to be my hell month, and it more or less was.

I had edits for All That Remains to finish up. I also had a bunch of pages on my still untitled WIP to turn in for my next MFA packet (that's due on Friday) as well as a ten page paper to write.

I probably should have been super stressed and junk. But surprisingly I wasn't. I mean, I could kind of feel that it was there, just hovering behind me, waiting. All "hey, are you suuuure you don't want to have some sort of stress freakout?"

But I was like, eh, no thanks. Instead I think I'll put my head down and get back to work.

I had definitely reached the point, though, where I had so much work that the only way out was through it. Which is in general I guess a good attitude to have. And honestly, if I had that attitude all the time things probably wouldn't stack up as much (though, to be fair, September Hell Month was just a timing thing and not brought about by slacking or anything.)

On the plus side about getting through September is now I have a bit of breathing room.

Until November that is, when NaNo starts. And yes I'm participating this year. I have a sequel to write. Which means my goal for October is to try and finish my WIP.

Will I be able to? Guess it's time to find out.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Time for IWSG!

I am honestly shocked that's it's already August.

I mean, what the hell? I know time is relative and all that, but where did the summer go? Seriously! I feel like we JUST got out of winter.

But the good thing about August is it means it's time for the MN Renaissance Festival and the MN State Fair. I will attend both events multiple time and eat too much food and complain about the terrible summer heat.

Other things are going on, of course. Mainly, a lot of writerly things.

Writerly things on my plate:

• Must tackle and complete all edits for ALL THAT REMAINS from my lovely editor
• Must try and finish WIP (this is the goal set to me for this semester by my wonderful MFA Mentor Laura Ruby)
• Begin (and hopefully finish ASAP) sequel to ALL THAT REMAINS.

So, yeah. I mean, it's only three things, but they're not little things. They're just like, oh I don't know, write entire novels and revise entire novels and all that fun stuff.

So, maybe I'm feeling a bit insecure about that. I mean, these are problems to HAVE, amiright? And I'm up for the challenge. I also think there's a good chance that maybe I'll be some sort of maven of productivity and manage to juggle all three of these balls at once.

But there's also a chance I'll drop them all.

Time will tell I'm sure.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month means it's time for IWSG

I'm not really feeling insecure right now, which is good of course. I mean, maybe I should be feeling the weight of things and junk.

My second MFA semster will be starting in about a month. I'll be working on ATR revisions for my editor (tee hee). I'll be planning and doing pre-work for the ATR sequel which is due next year.

And yet, I dunno. None of that is really weighing on me. For a big chunk of it I'm actually excited, which helps.

I mean, maybe by this time next month i'll be feeling the heat but right now things are A-Okay.

How about you? How's things with you?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Well, it's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's time for May's IWSG.

I always feel like I have insecurities during the month, but then when IWSG comes around, they're gone and I'm feeling pretty good.

I think, as always, I'm still worried about my workload. So far the MFA is going well and I haven't had any troubles keeping up. But I think there's always an underlining of fear. What if THIS packet I have troubles finishing? Our next residency is in early July (YAY! I'm so excited!) but that means I'll have to switch mentors (Sniff. I love working with Anne Ursu). And while I'm sure whomever I get for second semester will be fine and awesome, what if the change is enough to make me lose any momentum I've had?

Also, I wish I was further along in my WIP. I'm over 30K now, which is great. But that's 30K over four months, which is not great. Usually it takes me about 2-3 months to write a whole draft, but the MFA has really slowed things down.

While I'm in the MFA, I'd like to try my hand at writing a Picture Book, or a Middle Grade (especially the latter) and it seems like the perfect time to do it, when I'll have a mentor who knows what they're doing and can help me. But I don't necessarily like the idea of setting aside an unfinished MS to start another one.

So, you know, timing. It always comes down to timing.

I'm sure everything will work out fine and I'll figure things out, but nonetheless the feels creep in. As they always do.

How are things going for you?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month (can you believe it's March already??) which means it's time for Insecure Writer's Support Group!

So. I generally like to keep things close to the chest. I don't really know why. I think there's a touch of superstition involved, like I don't want to jinx something, but outside of that, I dunno. I just was never a person who liked to talk about fulls I got when querying, or rejections or anything like that.

But I thought I'd be a bit truthful today about something I've been keeping my mouth shut about.

As of Valentine's day, ALL THAT REMAINS has been officially on sub.

I did a round of revisions (fast fast fast) and then BAM! It suddenly happened.

And it was exciting right away.

And then it was stressful right away.

And then it was super stressful right away.

And then it got a little less stressful.

And then it went back to being super stressful again.

As you can see, there's a bit of a pattern.

Like, listen, I knew being on sub would be tough. Everyone talks about how hard it is. And I expected it. I knew it would be hard.

But I guess I thought it would be hard in a different way? I don't know. I hear so many people talking about how being on sub can take a long time. Months and months. And so I had prepared myself for it being hard because of that. I'm actually a pretty patient person, so long sub time wasn't all that scary for me (especially since I have the MFA stuff going on at the same time to distract me).

But it turns out it's hard for like a bajillion different reasons. Like ALL THE REASONS. Which, combined, makes total sense as to why pretty much everyone says being on sub is just so, so hard.

So, yeah. Here's another person saying the same thing.

Being on sub is hard, guys. Being a writer is hard, guys. Who knew? 

 

Insecure Writer's Support Group

First Wednesday of the month, so you know what that means:

 

 



I totally knew what I was going to blog about this week. And then, of course, when the time came to write this post, I couldn't remember my plan at all.

Story of my life.

Things have been good for me lately. My first MFA residency was awesome (so awesome. Can't wait for the next one in July) and then, of course, signing with an awesome agent.

The agent signing was exciting and amazing. But it was also tough. I think a lot of people from the outside think having so many offers is fantastic and the place that everyone wants to be. And I'm sure there are people who do want a ton of offers, so they can pick who they want to go with.

But also, getting a lot of offers is really hard. ESPECIALLY when all the agents who offer are ahmazing agents in their own right. And what if you click with more than one of them?

And you don't really want to say anything about it because so many of your writer friends WANT to be in that position of having an offer of rep, and here you are with more thant enough. And also because you don't want to feel ungrateful about that amazing position you're in. And also, you worked really hard to get there, so why are you moaning? You know, feels and all that junk.

But all that aside, it's hard. It's hard to make such a huge, life-changing decision. Change is hard. Querying is easy, because you put your work out there, cross your fingers, and repeat until you reach your goals.

But once you reach your goals, then, suddenly, everything's different. The status-quo has changed.
I think sometimes it's much easier to strive towards your dreams than actually reach them, you know?

Hard stuff, guys. Hard stuff.

But also awesome.

How about you? Are big choices like that sometimes scary for you?


Also, just a blog update: No post on Friday this week, since it's my birthday and I'll be doing birthday stuff (woo!)